Friday, September 30, 2011

Do What You Say!

God sure works in weird ways sometimes. I always was the kind of guy to say something and do something else when the time comes. By doing this, over time, people loose the trust that they have in you and there’s no relationship if there’s no trust.

I never had any consequences from doing so or at least that I could see (cause I found out today that there was). Starting today, my motto is “If you said it … DO IT!”

Can you look back in your life and pin-point times where you said you were going to do something but ended up not doing it?

Thursday, September 29, 2011

How Feelings can be Selfish - The Strongest Woman in the World

I’ve had my ups and downs in the past few months. Felt pain, joy and self pity. I was so self-centered on my own “bad experiences” that I failed to see what people close to me was going through.

A friend of mine just got troubling news about a lump she had on her breast. Nothing has been confirmed yet but she was asked to go see the doctor ASAP for “an update” and further investigation. You can judge the size of a person by the size of the problems they’re facing/overcoming. She is the strongest woman I have ever met. She was telling me the news like it was nothing, she was just as joyful as ever while I just felt like crying for her (which I did, on my way back home).

I’m thankful that I get to be her friend. I learn so much with her. I love you lots :)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Relationship and Conditional Sex

I’ve been in relationships where sex was just not present for “X” reason. Sex should be given when ever there’s a need for it. “Conditional sex” doesn’t fix problems but can potentially create another.

Conditional sex is, to it’s core, an attempt to control the other person. Do this and you’ll “earn” your intimacy with me kind of deal.

If you don’t feed your dog, will he just stop asking for food? If the need for intimacy is not taken care of, it won’t simply go away. A relationship is an agreement to take care of each other’s needs. Sex being one of them.

There’s a time to fix problems and there’s a time to be intimate. It’s best not to mix the two.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Couple in the Same Boat

A relationship is like having two people in a small boat. Each person having a paddle in their hands; they have to work together in order to keep the boat in line.

If one person paddle harder, the boat will go in circles. If both paddle on the same side, it will go in circles. If one doesn’t paddle, it will go in circles. If both doesn’t paddle then it just drifts away …

Focus on only what you can do. Be sure to be in sync at all time with your partner.

Monday, September 26, 2011

Pain is Good?

In a crazy way, I think we sometime want to get hurt. Have you ever been on the “victim” side of a break-up? Were you compel to ask for news about your ex afterwards? What “good” did that do?

This situation is like removing a band-aid quickly then, when asking for news, putting it back on just to remove it afterwards (There’s more than one way to see this).

Pain is often a good indicator of the things that need to change. However, we seem to willingly look for it at times when we should walk to opposite way.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Using Humor to Connect

The best way to get in someone’s heart is to make them laugh your way through. Humor is a great ice breaker, it doesn’t really matter what you say. If the other person laugh, you just broke down a wall.

I can prove this by asking you which comedian you like. Chances are you like which ever one makes you laugh the most. I bet you don’t even know the comedian all that well and yet you’ve accepted him in your heart.

How long would it take for someone who doesn’t make you laugh to get in your heart? Probably a long time. What can you do with someone if you can't laugh with them?

Thursday, September 22, 2011

When You Just Don’t Connect

There are times when you’ll meet people that you simply can’t connect with. Instead of appearing funny/nice/honest/... to them, you’ll be an annoyance.

The best thing to do in those situation is to let them be and move on. There’s simply nothing you can do to help the situation. Be sure to apologize if you feel they saw your interaction as arrogance. It’s not your fault, they may just be having a bad day.

Have you encountered anybody like that recently? (That you either found annoying or you feel like you were an annoyance to them)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Being Uncomfortable

When ever I’m uncomfortable my mind seems to think of ways to release it and bring me back into a more comfortable level. The feelings are sometime so strong that I find myself acting in ways that I wouldn’t normally act. I understand those feelings but I have yet to control them. They have a big influence over my thoughts and actions.

Those uncomfortable times happens when I’m alone and the best way to deal with them is to get out of that environment. Sometimes, just a trip to the gym helps clear my thoughts.

What do you do to clear your mind?

Monday, September 19, 2011

Listen to Uourself

I had a pretty interesting discussion with Jessica yesterday over lunch. She was telling me how good her advice was (not in a bragging way and I had to agree with her) and how little she was listening to them herself. I have to say that I’m pretty much the same way. Isn’t it easier to see the mistake in others?

I think it’s because our feelings tends to get in the way of our logic. Someone in an abusive relationship can tell someone else not to stay in an abusive relationship.

It’s easier to give advice to a situation we’re not emotionally involve in than it is when our emotions are involved.

The best way to see the error in our ways is to ask people for advice and consider it in our decisions. How many situations are you emotionally stuck in?

Friday, September 16, 2011

Not so Different

The brain, while being various is size, produce similar thoughts in each individual. Why is it that when a group of people is faced with a simple logical question that they all find the same answer?
If we all think differently, shouldn’t we be finding different answers? Our “Logic” is what makes us similar in our thinking. Logic is but an obvious next step to an issue; it’s seeking the right answer.

Where did that logic comes from? If I tell you to give me the answer of “15-2” what will you give me? Where did you learn that “15-2 = 13” ?

You tell me :)

Thursday, September 15, 2011

4 Common Relationship Killer (From Lifehacker.com)

Lifehacker is a website that contains random post from “How to have a better sex life” to “Simple ways to wash your car”.

The purpose of the website is to help the readers in various areas.One of today’s post identify 4 common relationship killer. I was able to relate with the article and I’d thought I’d share it with you guys.

Here’s the link: http://lifehacker.com/5840566/how-to-avoid-the-four-most-common-relationship-killers

Remembering a Feeling

Memory is an amazing thing. Because of it, we’re able to remember the kind of feeling we had while experiencing things in our lives.

It’s the reason why some relationships are hard to forget.

We may forget a few moments here and there but the feeling never seem to go away. It’s like our brain recorded the chemicals required to duplicate the feeling and never changes the recipe.

This could also explain why some stay in abusive relationships; they just focus on the feeling they used to have instead of seeing things for the way they are (assuming the abusive relationship happened gradually).

How do you feel when you think about events from your past?

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Temptation

Temptation comes in many different forms and It promises nothing more than pleasure. Pleasure doesn’t bring happiness; only an increasing desire for more pleasure.
It’s a vicious cycle that, once in, is hard to get rid of. We instinctively know when we’re being tempted by something. Identifying those things isn’t a problem, it’s just a matter of not succumbing to it.

If it doesn’t feel right; don’t do it.

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Revision Wednesday
Blog post edited/re-posted on June 10, 2015

Monday, September 12, 2011

The Power of Words

I often say things expecting to hear something. I can tell someone I’m going to leave just to hear them say that they want me to stay.
What I realized is that I’m expected to do as I say more often than hearing what I want to hear out of them. The thing is, if I never had any intention of leaving; I’m now obligated to do so. (Confused yet?)

Unspoken expectations often have undesirable results. What I learned out of that is to be more careful as of why I say the things that I say. If there’s a meaning behind the words, beside what they actually mean, it’s best to rephrase it to better reflect how I feel.

Friday, September 9, 2011

Acne - Vitamin A

I’m not a dermatologist. I’ve had acne problem since I’m like 14 and I thought that it’s something that will go away over time. The truth is that oily skin isn’t age related but food related. Your body uses what you eat to regenerate itself.

I’m aware that there’s all sorts of product that help reduce the acne on the skin by drying it but that doesn’t help the root of the problem.

After doing some research, I found out that acne is cause by an excess of sebum in the skin and that it wasn’t necessary caused by fatty food (I rarely eat fatty food). I read that a lack of Vitamin A can cause an excess of sebum in the skin which turns into acne.

Vitamins A comes from potatoes, carrots, salads, cantaloupe etc (you can do a research online to find more). Notice that almost none of those are found in fatty food, if they are, they were all processed and probably contain less vitamin A than if eaten from the source.

Add more vitamins A to your diet and see if it does a difference to you :)

Sources: http://www.ehow.com/about_4613837_what-is-sebum.html

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Sex; Not so Sacred Anymore

There was a time where it was odd to have sex prior to marriage. After a while, having sex with a girlfriend was considered “okay”.

These days, it’s not only “okay” to have sex with a girlfriend, it’s “okay” to have sex with friends (don’t need a relationship).

To me, a relationship is more special and requires more work than friendship. To have sex with a “friend” is like saying that “I’m too lazy to work on a relationship but I still want to fill that need for intimacy”.

Are we so afraid to commit to a relationship that we not only not want to wait until marriage, we don’t even want to wait to feel that “special” connection anymore (hence doing it with friends)?

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Never Stop

It seems to be harder to go back to the gym once you take a couple of days off. The mind, after convincing you not to do it the first time, seems to be stronger the second/third/... time around.

Obviously, this doesn’t only apply to the gym but any other good habit that requires work on your part. It takes more motivation to keep a good habit than a bad one.

The secret to keep a good habit, like going to the gym, is simply not listening to ourselves when our mind tells us to take a break. It’s to go even if we don’t feel like it.

Keep the momentum going! :)

Friday, September 2, 2011

Break up - Moving on to the Next Relationship

I will just assume that everyone is different on this. I tried a few different ways to try to “move on” faster and I find the best way, for me, is to just wait a while. Lately, I’ve attempted to meet a new person and I felt like I wasn’t ready for it yet.
How did I know? I felt like it was too fast.

I’ve been in a couple of relationships in my life but I can’t say that I’ve deeply felt anything for any of them. My last one is the only time that I really ever gave my best to it.

The feeling can only be compared to my soccer days when I would work hard to win a game and we would end up loosing it. The lost hurt more because I know I gave it my best but I’m still proud having given my best.

Take your time before jumping in a new relationship.

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